Weekend Off of Worry

I took a weekend off from stress this week. I spent time with girlfriends and just tried to relax. It was amazing, I almost felt like my old self except that it doesn't seem to ever really leave my mind. I think about it alot, we talk about it alot, and I guess there is just no escaping that I am sick. And scared. We also had our oldest daugther go camping for the weekend, and it was so hard on me. I honestly don't know how well we will do so far apart, but this was a good baby step. Today I am forced to deal with the illness as I have been unable to stay awake. I have slept most of the day and wasn't able to do any of the things I had wanted to do regarding cleaning, fund raising, or taking the kids for a walk. All in all, I guess this weekend of trying to pretend things are normal was nice, but it only reinforced how abnormal my life has become. But I feel closer to some amazing ladies and feel that they will be a safe place to land when I feel like falling.